3 cleansing breaths

my windows are open and there is no need for itunes, because the world is singing a song. the air is cool and the light soft. it has been raining all day, oh how i love the rain.

in my last days of summer i struggle to remember what i did for a little over two months. i don't think i can check off many things that would appear on a to do list, but i feel that much has been accomplished.

up until about the past two weeks, tracey, my mom, my dad, and occasionally tom have been preparing all of my grandma's meals and doing daily chores for her. i've spent a good amount of time in the little cluttered house next door, and i've fixed a million lean cuisine turkey and chicken dinners. i learned that when my grandma says she only wants a 1/3 a cup of peas, she really means it, because she knows what a 1/3 a cup of peas looks and feels like. she is able to get up and walk around a lot more everyday, so now i just go over to talk, or more to listen to the stories i've heard a million times (with new additions of course).

we went to tom's graduation, tracey and i went to lubbock for her orientation, i visited ty in austin, and drove tracey to see her boy in quinlan/caddo mills. i spent time with ty and his family and experienced granbury live! i went to physical therapy for three weeks for my hip, and spent lots of time in paris because we coordinated trips with tom's work outs. POWER THIRST. i sent laura long emails about my mundane life and relationship probelsm. tracey and i painted a mural on the side of our church with several people from church, and we met lynne (morris) mazing. we had slow lunch and found energy and an open mind and heart in a 71 year old catholic woman. our church also has pews for the first time now, as opposed to folding metal chairs. i've had many conference calls with usft, and become apart of something amazing. much time was spent in pray, and i feel like i have my relationship with God back, and a peace fills me. i went shopping more times that my white guilt could take, and i invested in material posseions like bike parts, "nice clothes", shoes, an awesome backpack, and a fair trade purse. i almost completely organized all my possesions, and i believe they can easily fit into my car, along with tracey's things. one day i hope to just have a backpack of belongings. i visited friends, got a terrible sunburn with rosa, and ate a homemade vegitarian enchilada dinner with friends.

but most importantly, i caught up on my sleep. and i really feel like i have this time. the first weeks i was sleeping for at least half of the day, everyday. i felt really guilty about, but my body needed it. when we started painting the mural we woke up at 7 and left the house by 7:30 because the sun hardened our paint around 10:30 every morning. ever since then i have been waking up at about 7:30 everyday, and i feel suprisingly good. i did some "self maintenance", started bathing more regularly, and paid more attention to mine and tracey's nutrition. i feel much more healthy.

the deep rooted problems in my family seemed to all surface at once, begining with my plea to travel to nicaragua for two weeks. the three hours my dad and i talked, well more that i was told why fair trade is stupid, humanitarian aid generally doesn't work, and how terrible obama is, was the longest conversation i have ever had with my father. we haven't spoken much since. my mom completely freaked out and was a nervous wreck all summer, until recently. tom also disagreed with how i was choosing to spend my time. tracey unconditionally supported me. it feels so suprisingly terrible to know that your parents don't support you. but more than the nicaragua issue, the lack of communication skills we possesed with one another became the most obvious. i feel only with time will things improve. i think it's just hard for my parents to let go, and for me to stay.

tonight we were supposed to go out to eat to celebrate my mom's birthday. my dad didn't want to go so, we didn't. tracey and i cooked the sweet potato enchiladas that tarrah so kindly made for us and my mom really liked them. she said she enjoyed it more than going out to eat, and i think she was sincere. after dinner we went on a walk to the square, in the rain, and tracey and i splashed through every puddle. it was the first time all summer that my mom and i could really speak with each other and not hurt. it was fun, and i'm glad to have had the night before i leave for a while.

cooper looks so different walking through the streets in the rain at sunset. it's so beautiful. i feel that there is a town underneath it all that is truly amazing.

i've been reading 'blood of brothers' by stephen kinzer and it is the best history book i've ever read. if you could call it that. he was a reporter in nicaragua during the revolution in the 70's and the 80's and his writing is just terrific. reading about was and so much political corruption really makes me appreciate the united states, despite all of it's flaws. i am so lucky to live here, and so thankful.

i'm leaving on wednesday for nicaragua to meet some amazing people, and i can't wait. lubbock comes the day after i return and i am so so so excited to begin a new year, in a new place, with a new attitude, with glaura, ty, tracey, old and new friends at tech in our happy little commune.

oh how i love the rain.

slow lunch

A river flows in you

My cousin Michael has been playing piano a lot for us lately. He doesn't really mess with any of the classical works. His taste is more in Broadway. And, occasionally, Disney. He is in 8th grade, and has been playing for years. We used to play together, back when I played piano. I never really got beyond My Heart Will Go On, and Cannon in D. He has by far surpassed me. And he can sing.

In February, when Terri and I came up to DC for Powershift, my Nana, Pap, and Michael came down to see us. While he was there he played Colors of the Wind. Terri really liked it, and I remember her telling me something to the effect that you could really hear his soul in it, and it didn't matter if he sounded really that good or not.

So I had him play Colors of the Wind this time...and I recorded it and will post it on here later.

But for now he has been working on River Flows In You by Yiruma.

It is beautiful.

I'm posting a link to Yiruma's myspace: http://www.myspace.com/yiruma.

It's beautiful.

One of those songs that really grips your attention, and sends a flurry of images racing through your mind. One of those wordless songs in which you can really hear the story.

it is so beautiful outside

but really this whole outside idea is strange. the world is so beautiful.

Upward over the mountain

Sorry that I am using this blog as my play ground. I just really like having all of these resources available at my finger tips, and I want to use them.

At the recommendation of Shayna, I have started reading Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace...One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

I am about 3 pages in. But the book opens with describing the K2 mountain.

Having taken only two geography classes in my life, I had no idea what the K2 mo

untain was. So I googled it and found some really stunning pictures that I am going to share with everyone.

This one I found at: http://www.k2news.com/dimages/k20207.jpg

This one I found at: http://www.rankopedia.com/CandidatePix/33973.gif

K2 is a mountain in Pakistan's Karakoram and is the second highest mountain in the world.

Please share any stories you might have about this mountain.

We are going to go hiking at:

1. Paladoro Canyon

2. Caprock Canyon

3. Big Bend National Park

Please add to/edit the list.

Things I Wanted to Tell Terri but Did Not Because I Forgot

1. Last night my Pap was telling us that he was reading this book, and got half way through when he discovered the story ended and entirely different story began in the middle. He said "I was so mad I could have crapped."

2. I found four oak leaves beneath a tree in my grandparent's backyard, and didn't really pay much attention to them, until I held them to the light and they were so so so pretty! I had never really noticed leaves before, but they have so many veins and pathways running through them. It reminded me of finger prints.

3. My Uncle and Aunt have Go Lean Crunch Cereal, so I am probably going to fart all day long.

I'm leaving on a jet plane!

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN COOPER TEXAS!

must...

Very quickly the summer is coming to an end! Only 3 weeks until I leave for Nicaragua and if all goes according to plan, I hope to leave for Lubbock the day after I get back.

So, I must get very organized, be positive, and enjoy being alive.

Also... lol at Greenpeace.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2009/07/greenpeace_says_g8_didnt_do_en.html

I have one more very very good article:
http://www.vday.org/node/1712

My thoughts are scattered after reading it and hard to articulate. The one story that sticks out in my mind is the man's. I am reading these articles because I need more stories and thoughts like this for a story I am going to write as my honors thesis. But where do you even start?

I don't have a computer at the moment that is functioning (Firefox is crashing on Mu) so until the computer that is not yet named comes in on Friday, I am going to post a list of websites that I want to add to my bookmarks here. Sorry that I am using the blog as storage space.

This would go under:
The Seva Movement-General Goodwill:
http://www.oxfamamerica.org/issues/community-finance/what-oxfam-is-doing

ALSO this is something we can all do. According to a study conducted by the UN, 1 BILLION people are starving. I don't think that we can comprehend this number, or really, what is means to be starving. BUT I am looking around at Oxfam (and am really really impressed by their work) and found something that we can do to help. Right now Obama is at a G8 summit, and you can send him an e-mail to urge him to make this global problem a priority.
Here is the link:
https://secure.oxfamamerica.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1025&autologin=true

Mostly what I was impressed about was Oxfam's strategies for helping to combat hunger. Their approach sounds a lot different and less preachy than some of the other e-mails I have sent to our elected officials.

Also I just removed myself from the Save Darfur e-mailing list.
sad.
That is all for now.

if you are in chicago this summer

I am looking into finding sustainable businesses in Chicago, Pittsburgh, and DC for when I travel this summer. I figure that there are still some things we need for our apartment, and while I am there, I should take advantage of the local, eco-friendly businesses that Lubbock doesn't have (now...maybe we will one day)

SO if you need some linksys:

Chicago

Green Genes
http://www.green-genes.com/about.html
From what I have gathered, this store is an eco-friendly boutique for children. They produce less than two bags of garbage a month.

Green Heart
This one looks to be more generalized: http://www.greenheartshop.org/t-gh_aboutus.aspx
This is a little about them:
What is Eco-Fair Trade? Greenheart follows the guiding principles of "Fair Trade". Fair Trade supports sustainable community development by ensuring that the artisans making the products are paid fair living wages. "Eco" signifies that our products are made using the most sustainable materials and methods whenever possible. At Greenheart, we are both "Fair to producers, and good to the Earth".
This shop seems really cool! They have "survival Spanish for travelers" classes!
so cool!

Sweet Dreams Organic Bakery & Cafe
http://sweetdreamsorganicbakery.com/index.html
Family owned business that makes everything from scratch and ALL of their products contain only organic ingredients. This is pretty far away from my grandma's house...but it looks so freaking good.

The Fair Trader
http://www.thefairtraderchicago.com/Products.html
More fair trade products!

And some fair trade coffee houses:
http://www.bluemaxcoffee.com/
Flying Saucer Cafe
Swim Cafe
Third World Cafe

But now I have an appointment with the study abroad office. Ciao.

More Fair Trade products!

books!

I have failed on the front of this blog being a place to talk about the books we have read. I read a couple of books in Costa Rica, and only talked about one of them! Failure!

But I read one that was so amazing that I want to write about it now.

It was...The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy.

The book was recommended to me by Shayna. This summer has been really awesome in that I have been exchanging book lists with people and been getting a lot of really good suggestions. SO to anyone who reads this blog, do you have a book list? If so PLEASE email it to me: laurinskii@gmail.com and I will post it on our blog for everyone to share. Or just put it as a comment and I will post it on the front page.

I think that books make some of the best gifts, and I am looking for materials to read for my 3 week family vacation that is coming up.

But back to Arundhati Roy. I would read her wikipedia page, because she is a rather amazing person. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arundhati_Roy. She appears to be a writer, activist, essayist, actress, screenplay writer, architect, etc. Mostly look at her activism section. Pretty inspiring.

But back to the book! The book is amazing. Roy is very very clever with grammar, capitalization, and sentence structure. The book spans about 20 years, but really focuses on the events of a week. It doesn't follow a clear time line, so at first it is hard to follow, but when you get into it, you have to go back and read the beginning to see just what you missed.

It is focuses around the lives of two twins (one boy, one girl), their single mother, divorced uncle, cruel great-aunt, and blind grandmother, and the Uncle's ex-wife and daughter coming for a visit. Sounds simple, but more it is about "the Love Laws. That lay down who should be loved. And how. And how much." It is about the caste system in India, and the Untouchables, and there are two love stories intertwined. Beautiful beautiful beautiful book.

Lol I bet our book reviews are never very in depth. But I don't want to give too much away...because I really want everyone who reads this blog to read this book.

A quote to leave you with: (it is after the twins have come to Velutha pretending to be old ladies dressed in Saris)

"It is after all so easy to shatter a story. To break a chain of thought. To ruin a fragment of a dream being carried around carefully like a piece of porcelain. To let it be, to travel with it, as Velutha did, is much the harder thing to do."

going through pictures

So many memories.
I will write later but for now I am listening to Glen's insane amount of Sufjan Stevens and writing down the songs like I like so I might have some way of remembering:

We won't need Legs to Stand
Let's Hear that String Part Again Because I don't Think They Heard it All the
Jacksonville