In only a week I forgot how consuming school can be. Which isn't really bad.
The break was oh so nice! I feel much better.
Today was SO windy. I rode my bike to a park today to read and I almost got blown over, literally. It was a little frightening since I was so close to moving vehicles but mostly it was exciting. I was sitting on the less windy side of a big tree and the wind picked up, and it was so amazing. It was coming from all directions and it felt so unlike anything else, it was powerful and helpless. It was a swirl of everything from everywhere all at once.
I like the wind best while sitting. When you are walking, biking, running, or even driving the wind is sometimes just annoying, it stops you and pushes you and makes you appreciate effortless motion. When sitting, it becomes part of you.
I love Lubbock. The wind is everywhere.
windy bells
I'm reading an article about climate change and its impact on third world countries for my regional world geography class. The article is written by Nicholas Kristof, and entitled "Extended Forecast: Bloodshed". Not the most cheery of titles.
Anyway, I wanted to share some of his thoughts:
The greenhouse gases that imperil Africa’s future are spewing from the United States, China and Europe. The people in Bangladesh and Africa emit almost no carbon, yet they are the ones who will bear the greatest risks of climate change. Some experts believe that the damage that the West does to poor countries from carbon emissions exceeds the benefit from aid programs
or just one of his thoughts. I find it interesting how vastly interconnected we all are.
here's a link to his article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/13/opinion/13kristof.html?scp=6&sq=the%20sahel&st=cse
On Raspberries and Excitement
So since December, I have been wanting to do undergraduate research with a professor. The honors college has this cool program called the Undergraduate Research Fellowship program that basically allows for students to do research with professors and get paid! You work on research that the professor is doing, so you aren't required to generate your own thesis or anything. Well this afternoon I figured I should probably get on that. One of the professors in the Honors College gave me some names of people to contact (I want to do research with Africa, and because Tech still doesn't have an African studies department or faculty with the exception of Ambassador Nagy, who is not doing research at this time, we had to brainstorm and look for people might have some obscure interest in Africa). So I e-mailed, and then went and gardened. Today I got to tackle the raspberry bush. It is so pretty in spring. I was cutting away the dead stalks, but the living stalks had these brilliant green leaves on them. I guess vibrant is maybe the right word. And they were small. It amazes me how many beautiful things there are in Lubbock.
But getting back to the URF. So I did my gardening, came back, checked the e-mail, and one of the professors had already e-mailed me back. And she is interested in me working with her! This is a professor I have had before, actually, for Modern British Literature. AND the best part is, she's doing research on Africa! Her specialty is feminist and queer movements in the Caribbean, Africa, and South Asia! BAH! I'm so excited! AND if I do not get an internship this summer, I could stay in Lubbock (bleh) and do research with her! And possibly get paid!
BAH!
spring breaks
So usually I use Spring Break to catch up on things or to do things I want to but don't have time for. Not this time... I just want it to be what it is, a break.
I need a break, for a lot of reasons. I like being home sometimes and then I don't. I want to sleep. I love how quiet it is, except for the freaking birds in the morning.
My grandma is really sick and just got out of the hospital. We have to take care of her basically like a child. She can't get out of her chair and so we have to feed her through out the day, make sure she eats enough, uses her nebulizer every 6 hours, and takes her medicine. She doesn't look good to me but my mom says she looks great compared to a few weeks ago. I feel so bad for her and I can't imagine being left all alone all day, unable to walk and to see my cats, to wash my hair, to sew, or to do anything except watch old westerns.
I've watched two old westerns with her now. One twice because neither of us remembered if we finished it. It was a funny time for film making I think. Seeing the Native Americans is hilarious, the talk and expressions are funny, and seeing New Mexico as a cowboy haven is even funnier.
I think I'm going to run today. It's been too long. The air is clear here, and the town quiet.
I'll probably see Rosa sometime soon and Raquel this weekend. Otherwise, I hope to be still.
Life is quiet in Lubbock right now. I am at home, and have been since Sunday. I love the quiet. I woke up late (for me), didn't do anything really until 12, worked out some, dragged my tired arms home, did homework, and then I gardened. I gardened with my mom for an hour, and I didn't notice it had been an hour. When I was young, my parents used to make me garden (they have a really big garden), and I hated it! I would watch the minutes drag, and have to take "water breaks" every 15 minutes. So it shocked me when over an hour went by of me raking leaves and occasionally clipping dead stalks from plants, and I didn't notice.
I believe I would like a garden when I have a house of my own. I would really like an herb garden, and maybe to grow some vegetables and raspberries. I never remember the "p" in "raspberry", and then I can never really pronounce raspberry in my head right now that I know there is a p there.
I keep asking my parents what is xeriscaped and was is not in the garden. Most of the xeriscaped plants are rather uninteresting at first glance. I came across a straggly bush like thing today that was gray and covered in dead leaves. But I like that my parents are moving in that direction, and I like that Tech is moving in that direction as well. The grasses around tech are so pretty. I want my parents to use some of those grasses in their garden, but gardens are so particular. You have to have the right light, and water fall, and time, energy. It's a committment, but it feels so fulfilling to spend your time nuturing nature. To finally be doing something that is good for the earth.
also:
"Dime cómo mueres y te diré quién eres."
means, tell me how you died, and I'll tell you who you were
"Hay no tal pompa que la muerte no rompa"
means, there is no splendor that death cannot break.
spring break has begun
"Dime cómo mueres y te diré quién eres."
"Hay no tal pompa que la muerte no rompa"
The incas believed that hell was cold. Which is funny considering where they lived. and Dear lord, roomates, stop being so affectionate.
Those were some thoughts while doing my spanish homework. I'm trying to finish up the trivial homework that I have for spring break so I can really focus on:
1. Proposal for Senior Thesis- this involves going over the story I wrote during the Christmas break and looking to see how I can expand it through research. I am very excited about this, have made some notes, but need to find some focus. Can't write everything into a short story.
I can't even tell who is in the living room right now. I think I know, but their voices sound weird. They better be doing dishes. And a cell phone keeps ringing.
2. Start doing research for my Tolkien class essay. I am going to be writing on the idea of healing/forgiveness gardens. As you can see, I need to find some focus on that as well.
But the idea of a forgiveness garden sounds so cool! Maybe I can use Tolkien's example as a counterpoint for those who think a forgiveness garden is stupid. Or those who think forgiveness is stupid.
I love Lord of the Rings. It was amazing, and I have a new respect for it. And Frodo is amazing.
I liked that he gets called to the west. I wish that I felt more of a calling toward the west. I like the direction, but I have a feeling that my path in life is not in Washington or Oregon, as I would like it to be.
3. Economics exam. Got to save the GPA and study for this exam. This is lame, but I made one of those home-made notebooks Terri came up with...and it looks terrible, but that doesn't bother me, but I'm going to use it specifically for my economics studying, and I believe that having the notebook will motivate me. I used cardboard from Glen's "Franizskaner Weissbier" and it has a picture of a really fat old friar drinking beer. The back cardboard is from seventh generation with a quote "in our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations."- The Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy
I LOVE THAT QUOTE! WHY DID WE GENOCIDE THE NATIVE AMERICANS? WHY? Why would that make sense?
This is turning into a long post. And I haven't really said anything I want to say.
I have also recently become obsessed with "Gloryland", a hymn song by the Watersons. I really like the opening line "there is a land beyond on the stars", because it ties in with the Grey Havens, and death, and how death isn't the end, but the beginning, and life is a cycle!
When they sing "gloryland, cry, gloryland" it gets me. It's mostly the violins.
I think that I would have much liked to be a cello/string player of some sort. Oboe is fun and all...it just doesn't rip at your heart quite like the string instruments can.
I think Banjo is the stringed version of an oboe.
Glen is learning banjo.
We are always learning.
since last week was february...kind of
This is what happened in February:
Chocolate and Wine Festival! As you can see, Glen is holding a WINE Glass. And he and my dad are bonding as they are waiting on all of us to stop eating chocolate. We ate so much chocolate.
The Tree is from Valentines day! Glen and I went on a bike ride around tech terrace and to Hester's books! Seriously one of the best used book stores ever. The owner gave Glen and I homemade Lemon squares.
Also, Ty came to town!
And Terri and I were in the Vagina Monologues. In the picture Terri is in the Vagina!
Glen got invited for the second time to play with Dr. Smith.
The next picture is at Powershift 09! Terri and I got free plane tickets to attend. There were 12,000 people there, and most of them hated coal and believed in global warming. The guy above was selling an "underground" art magazine and a bumper sticker that said "stop bitching and start a revolution".
The painting in the right hand corner was one of Terri's favorite paintings. She had found it on the internet last semester, and we got to see the original! We went to a graduate school fair, and saw people carrying it around.
The three below:
1. Powershift! So many hippies! 2. The best building in all of Dc. 3. Tech's powershifters? Brett, Brittany, Rob, Terri, me, and Winston
day light savings messes with the lighting so much
Talking to Terri inspired me to go outside and get some natural lighting and air. After studying for the past three hours in a Carpenter Wells study room, it's a nice relief.
I felt like I had so much to say, and now that I'm here, I can't really think of anything.
One of my close friends from high school told me that she is getting married. I found out by her calling and asking me if Catholics let non catholics get married in their chapels. I was like "are you getting married?" And she said yes. She's planning the wedding in July. Holy freaking crap. I have told various people this throughout the day, and no one really seems that surprised. My mom freaked out for awhile, but everyone else said that they had friends who were already married.
July is just so close, and I didn't even know they were engaged. July. Freaking July. I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean we are all going to start graduating soon (next year...man) and after that people will probably start getting married. I guess I always thought it would be Kimber and Steffen first. Curious.
And I guess the idea of marriage seems so far off for me that it took me by surprise to have someone be so ready for it now. not that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with Glen. It's just that marriage would ground me, and I don't want to be grounded right now. I'm going to have to start looking for grad schools pretty soon, and the chances of Glen and I finding a college that has a good Computer Science and African studies department isn't great. We'll be lucky if we find one in the same area. And if not, we'll deal. We've agreed that we don't want our relationship to come before our education. Basically, we don't want to settle for an okay college.
Then there is travel. I want to go to Africa. For a long time.
But we all have different paths. Last year at around this time, I wanted to be engaged and married after college. Now it's looking like marriage is several years off. Things change.
And we are all at different points in our lives.
The sun is out! I used to like gray cloudy days, but now not so much. I've been obsessed with light. It's so freaking pretty.
I had a structure for this post. Oh well.
Last week Terri and I were at my aunt's house getting ready to eat pasta. Now Glen and I are getting ready to eat dinner.
Tolkien has taught me that everything happens for a reason. Our lives exist in cycles, and it is easier to go with them than try to oppose them. There are several times in the story when one character does something because he feels that the his actions are part of a larger force. That's why no one kills Gollum. Precious.
I really like that idea, and want to use it in my own writing. It's also helped my life. I'm not sure about this summer right now, how I will make it back for this friend's wedding, grad school, playing oboe, learning spanish, etc, but I feel there is a greater purpose for everything we do, and though we may not ever realize it, nothing is ever done in waste.
gingivitis
what do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
also, what do you do with bulk mail?
also also, my professor asked us what our excuse was for our existence, i don't know.
and,
the sun is up
the sky is blue
is beautiful
and so are you.
biking in the wind
Since I was a freshman, my dad has driven out to Tech every Saturday morning to walk the dogs on the empty campus and drop donuts off in my car. Every Saturday. He's amazing. But this morning there was not any Donuts. They had a funeral, so I don't think they had time to drive across town. So Glen and I went and got donuts. As we were eating our fried bits of dough, I realized that he started a tradition that I probably won't be able to break.
He always goes to Day Break donuts, and once in Political Science Fall of '07, Dr. Leslie brought us the same donuts for class. I like when teachers bring us food. Dr. Smith (Celtic Ensemble director) bakes us bread and brings tea. And at every Seva meeting we have carrots.
Mostly though the sun is setting. It's weird, that once again, last week Terri and I were riding on the met back to my Aunt's house.
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