"i think you hate america"

Right now I'm reading Daniel Quinn's "The Story of B." I'm not very far into it but it's pretty similar to Ishmael, which I really liked and found very interesting. It questions our society, our lifestyles, and the direction in which we are heading. It's kind of more doomsday than I would go for but I appreciate the alternative thought and these are things and ideas that I feel like I've felt, but never had the words for.

I found out today that I am officially going to Nicaragua. I'm really excited but I kind of don't feel like it's happening. I've been arguing with my parents about the trip, the idea of fair trade, politics, economics, etc. a lot lately. They aren't happy that I'm going but they support me. They don't think it's a good idea but they are letting me make my own decisions. My mom thinks I hate America but I don't, I am very thankful to live here. Really they are just concerned for my safety because they care, and I suppose that isn't a terrible thing at all.

Some days I want to give up talking to them all together, and some I want to keep trying. I talked with Grant about our parents because they have similar views and his aren't so thrilled about him joining the Peace Corps. I asked him if talking to them made him angry and he said no, that is made him sad, and sometimes it was even funny. I've been trying really hard to view my parents this way and it isn't easy. It's so frustrating to not be heard or understood, but really they have the best intentions, and it is sad that they seem to be so cynical and untrusting. But maybe I am just naive. Probably.

I went running in the dark with Tom tonight. It was peaceful running through the poorly lit streets of Cooper. I wasn't scared because Tom is scary. We talked. I find it easier to talk while running. I'm really lucky to have a brother and a sister.