Conflicting Ideas/Thoughts/Feelings?

I don't think I have been listening to my music enough lately. I opened iTunes just now and was conflicted as to what to play, because there are so many songs I want to hear, and only one moment to click one.
I have felt shaky and not grounded today. I woke up before my alarm again (which I think it bad, it may not be. I think I have not necessarily healthy view points on sleep)...and I just have so many ideas.
I have two big projects that I am working on right now. One of them is my Honors Thesis which is dealing, now, with violence in Costa Rica. The other is an essay for my Gender, Race, and Nature class. I haven't come up with anything concrete yet...but I am thinking about focusing the essay on sexuality in nature in Ceremony and examining the different sex scenes in the novel, contrast them (there are three, one is violent white man/ indian woman, the other is more spiritual/natural mexican woman/indian man, and the other is healing indian woman/indian man...I mention their race as it is a factor of the novel.)
I guess it is difficult to switch between thought processes. Originally I was going to write about violence in Ceremony, but reading and writing about violence for two projects was too depressing.
I think it's more of a funk caused by actually reading Ceremony. The book deals a lot with older Laguna traditions and relationships with the earth...and I feel like that is something I really lack in my life and culture.
And I don't really know how to reconcile it. So I feel like I am retreating further away from it instead.
Really I need to reconcile my faith. I had a lot of time to think this summer, which brought up several questions I had that I was unable to answer, or didn't necessarily agree with. But now I have not dealt with them.

I don't feel overwhelmed. That is the weird part.
I feel like I am on top of all of my assignments...I don't feel like I'm struggling for time.
But something feels like it's missing.
I think what is missing is not religion but spirituality. And thinking.
And meditating.
And appreciating the little things in life.

We watched Amelie this weekend, and I LOVED IT. One of the scenes that I liked was where Amelie is watching a video of her life on the TV (juxtaposed with the death of Princess Diana) and the announcer says something to the affect of Amelie appreciating the little things in life. Like skipping stones.
The first thing that comes to my mind is hot chocolate on a warm day.
And riding my bike through the neighborhoods to tech. There is a particular tree that catches the light right off of boston in the mornings.