On tuesday it rained! It hasn't rained since, or really been anything but hot and windy, but it was such an amazing rain storm. I had had a really bad day that day, said some things I shouldn't have said, got back to the people I said them about, and overall felt like crap. I sat at a park with Glen for awhile, trying to sort everything out, trying to forgive myself. I don't think I forgive very well. When I think about some girls in Junior High that asked me not to eat with them any more, I still feel bitter. Then I'm like, wait, I forgave them for that. I told them I did at least. It's stupid to be mad and carry grudges.
But especially with myself. So Glen and I got home and it started to rain. I went out and stood there and maybe did a V for Vendetta, raised my arms, and was like "God is in the rain." That's right, Terri, I was Natalie Portman for a little while! But it felt very refreshing, and I felt forgiven.
I don't know if that really makes sense, but I think God is everywhere, but especially in the rain. And it was so pretty. It wasn't completely cloudy, so behind me, on the roof it was sunny and pouring rain. Terri, you would have really liked it, spazzed, and then taken a lot of pictures. Glen and I sat in my room and watched it rain for awhile, and then I went out and danced in it. Then it got really cold so I didn't. But there was a rainbow!
I've decided there is something beautiful and amazing in every day we just have to look for them.
I've also been listening to John Denver a lot. He's beautiful too.
Thursday, May 29, 2008 | ramble by Anonymous at 11:20 PM |
people actually read this?
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HAAHAHAH! John Denver! You need to listen to... Country Roads? I think is what it's called. It's about West Virginia! I love that song! Glen likes it too if I remember correctly...
HAHA about you saying stuff! Just kidding... kind of. You know it's a little bit funny.
Laura we all do dumb things... and even though you do a lot that's ok. Just go with it! I hope you did forgive yourself. I'm sure some good came out of it all...
And you must tell me about these girls that told you not to eat with them!! HAHAH! That's hilarious! But sad.
Sometimes I wonder how things could possibly get so complicated between two people... or a group of people. Why do we get so wrapped up in our petty social problems all the time? I was thinking about this today and we worry about ourselves all the time! We get so interested in our own lives and I don't really get it. I find the rest of the world way more interesting than what's happening with me and people that probably don't care about me anyways.
I think you handled the situation very well and that you should try not to worry about it too much. I know that's probably hard though but it's going to be ok and there are so many other things that you could spend your time and energy on. We can't change things and we know that but we always spend so much time thinking about all the things we did wrong... people are kind of dumb I guess. Why do we do that? Something to ponder... or not since you think thinking is stupid and pointless. HA!
I hope this didn't come across the wrong way.... I'll just talk to you about it all later if it didn't make sense... that is assuming I ever get to talk to you! AAAH!
Omg I would have danced in the rain with you and probably rolled around a little bit. I always like to think that the rain washes everything away and allows a fresh start. Kind of a weird coincidence that it rained on Tuesday. Maybe the world was trying to help you out a little.
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